Silent Whispers…

whisperThere’s a beautifully written post by Michelle over at the “Say What Club” blog – entitled: “All That A Whisper Is“.  Michelle is a mom who has severe hearing loss herself, and talks about how she could not hear whispers from her child.  Please go read her post…  it’s an inspiring read.

For me, it also gave me a glimpse to the other side.  Because along with not hearing the “th, f, s, sh, sp, t, b, etc” silent consonants, it was my son who could not hear my whispers.  I wrote this in response to her post:

great post… thank you for sharing that.

It reminded me that when I realized my son couldn’t hear whispers (he was 4 when we found out he had a mild-mod hearing loss)… and it suddenly made sense why when HE whispered something to me, he only moved his lips. He didn’t think you were SUPPOSE to say it out loud.. because, he could not hear us.

When I first realized that… I felt tremendously guilty… both, for not realizing why he only moved his lips… and, because I realized that for 4 years… I was always whispering sweet nothings in his ears… I love you’s… sssshhhhhh sounds when he was crying… and he never heard any of it…

I felt terrible about that… but, was glad that I could finally direct all my sweet nothings to his face… or in a voice he could hear me… and that somehow.. he seemed to have understood that my soundless whispers were full of love the first 4 years in spite of not hearing them…


When AC first got his HA’s –  I told him I wanted to whisper something in his ear – to test them.   I whispered “I love you” – as I had done countless times before, unheard.  This time, he looked at me…. surprised… annoyed almost.. and said, “Mommy!  I could HEAR you!”.  He said it, as if he was NOT SUPPOSE to hear me.  I had to explain to him (and I’m not sure he believed me) that you WERE suppose to hear whispers. 

Now… 7 years later… I know better than to whisper anything to my son – especially when he’s not wearing his HA’s…. 
but, you know what is really cool? 
Now, he can read lips… and I can whisper with no sound to his face… instead of softly in his ear… and even from across a crowded room – he hear’s my “whispers” and no one else can =)



4 Responses

  1. I have a hearing loss and I wear hearing aids

  2. Hi Thomas
    How are you? My apologies for not responding sooner. I’ve met many people with hearing loss the last few years.. but, sometimes, my son AC still can feel very isolated. I wish he had a friend his age still that wore hearing aids.. but, he doesn’t. It doesn’t seem to bother him, but, I just think it would be nice for him to have someone else that really “got it”. Ya know? How about you? Did/do you have friends that also wear hearing aids?

  3. I would really like to know if my daughter could hear when she was first born. I just want to know if she knew I was reading to her while I was pregnant and if it really soothed her when I sang to her as an infant.

  4. Joey-I know what you mean… I agonized over things like that too…

    I don’t know for sure – but, they say my son was probably born with his level of hearing loss and we just never knew until he was almost 4…. since the level hasn’t changed any…this makes sense to me now…

    I thought back about how I use to kiss my son’s head every single time I picked him up when he was a baby, every time… and usually, I whispered, “I love you” in his ear. When I realized he probably never heard those I love you’s… well… it was heart-breaking…

    But… a wise person told me that even if he never heard it… he certainly felt it… and knew it… and knows it now. I have to take comfort in that and believe it….

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